Samantha Davies (Flash Back)

September 6, 1923


Dear Diary,


I remember the day I stopped believing in God. It was the same day I found that my mom had cancer. It shook my world. I cried out but it was like no one was listening. I shouted for help but no one came to my rescue. That was when I doubted that a God even existed, and even if He did, He was the worst God that I could ever imagine. I felt like He destroyed me, my family, that He didn't care! He knew how much my mom mean the world to me, and for Him to slowly take her away right before my very eyes? Now that's just plain cruel! I was so mad at Him! So frustrated! I thought that He doesn't love me! That He doesn't care about me! I mean He never gave me something to hold on to!--I was wrong. Because......He gave me Luke, the one who held me together when no one else did. Luke opened my eyes, changed my way of thinking and made me realize how much God is madly in love with me. Before Luke, before everything, I was this lost little girl who was at the very edge of committing suicide, but then God heard the silent cries of my heart. God never stopped pursuing me, why did I even think that He did? His hands were always there to catch me! His hands were always there to pull me back in. I knew that someone died two thousand years ago. Yeah sure. They say that all the time in church. But it was yesterday when I learned that that someone died so that I may live. 
My mom was buried last September 4, just two days ago. We had a ceremony before it, and my father asked Luke to sing... And it was the best decision my father had ever made. I don't know why, but that song captured me. Like something or someone was just knocking at the very door of my hardened heart, waiting for me to answer it. And for the first time in a very long time, I felt this kind of peace. And overwhelming peace and a wide understanding, a feeling of not wanting anything but a man named Jesus. His love, wow. You can never comprehend it. There is no greater love than His'. For because of that kind of love, this lost girl was finally found.